How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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