We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
