OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
