I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize