Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
