Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
