i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
