then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
