What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
