everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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