She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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