Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize