Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
