It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
