oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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