I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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