hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
