I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
