Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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