So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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