But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
