respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
