Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
