you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
