Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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