eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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