we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
