if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
