remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pants are for mortals
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
