I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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