I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
