i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
