Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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