real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
