Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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