At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
