I feel like abortions should bother me more
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
