i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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