it wasn't lemon gatorade
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
