'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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