I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize