so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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