I need help removing her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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