Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
