we made out on top of his cat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
