didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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