***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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