Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
