I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
