the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
