New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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