Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
