There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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