don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize