just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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