you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
