I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
