whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
