I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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