I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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