One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
