oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
