I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
