i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
